So This Is Love?
by Joh
Summary: jh version of "it's a wonderful life"
1. Default Chapter

I do not own any of the "that 70's show" characters, themes, or storylines.  
  
I saw an author on FF.N do a take on "it's a wonderful life" j/h version, and it disappointed me. So being the copycat weakling, I will attempt my own version. It's not really comedic though. Frank Capra movie as title, and Blue Oyster Cult as the chapters.  
  
It seems that on FF.net now that the first chapter is called default, and I really want you to see all the names of the chapters, so I'm sticking this in here.  
  
Enjoy. 


	2. This Ain't the Summer of Love

Hyde lay on his stomach, still. "So, this was what it was like to be dumped," he thought. "Aka Foreman."  
  
How does it feel?  
  
"Feels like crap, thank you very much."  
  
No, to cheat.  
  
"I have some pretty fucked up demons in my head."  
  
Demons, Hyde?  
  
"Get the hell away from me."  
  
Oh, you see-that's a problem. I am you Hyde. Except, honest.  
  
"And sarcastic."  
  
Comes with the package dude.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Oh you know, talk.  
  
"Talking to myself always helped."  
  
Well, this is the first time you've tried it.  
  
"How am I doing?"  
  
Pretty crappy, but eh. You're getting there.  
  
"This isn't real. The government planted a chip in my head while I was sleeping didn't they? I'm actually listening to Nixon right now aren't I?"  
  
You never believed in that shit. You just made it up so that people wouldn't think it was you who broke up the Hyde family.  
  
"What the hell is this crap? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!"  
  
"Fine."  
  
Hyde jolted off his bed at the sound of the voice. A real voice. He whipped around to see a chubby, short thirtish man wearing white sitting on the table adjacent to his bed, fingering the HIGH ST. sign he had gotten for his 18th birthday.  
  
"Who in holy hell are you?!"  
  
He smirked and giggled. "Well, I was Eric's angel, but God's dot.prayers plan kinda fell in, so I have to double up on you kids."  
  
Hyde blinked rapidly a few times, hoping it was just a mental fragment gone askrew.  
  
"What do you expect to accomplish with all that? To have the cleanest eyes in the world?"  
  
"Look man," Hyde raised his voice threateningly "Get out of here or I'll kick your ass like I do to Kelso's."  
  
"Oh please. I'm an angel, I can do no harm." He plastered a fake smile on his face. Hyde glared. "Anyways, I'm here to ease your teen angst, drama- queen crap because-well, it's clogging up my angel visions."  
  
Hyde bent down picked up the cot in both hands. "That's real nice, how about I take care of those for you." He angled his arms, preparing to assault.  
  
The angel hung the sign back in it's respective spot, and hopped off the table. He looked at Hyde-guffawed, and spoke to him in a serious tone. "Don't need to get all violent. I haven't done anything..yet. Man, you're worse than Eric." With a wave of his hand, the cot felt like a ton of bricks in Hyde's hands. Hyde having no choice but to obey the call of gravity slumped to the ground and banging his knees painfully on the cement floor.  
  
"Come on. Let's make this short." The angel sauntered over, and crossed his legs as he sat on the cot. "It was a big misunderstanding. If you really do love each other, than you both will get over this incident."  
  
Hyde looked up, and sat back on his heels. "What would you know about Jackie? She's not going to take it anymore, she expects that I'm better than Kelso for god's sake."  
  
"Isn't that saying a lot?"  
  
"What do you mean? She's gone, finito, bye-bye, adios!"  
  
"Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why she doesn't want to get back with you is because she's really in love with you?"  
  
"Hasn't she had an on-again, off-again love affair with me over 2 years?"  
  
"It's different this time. She doesn't have Kelso to fall back on."  
  
"Hey, I'm being compared to Kelso by her already. I can only take so much bull!"  
  
"What, you can't handle your medicine like a man?"  
  
Hyde swiped at the angel only to hit thin air.  
  
"You teenagers are so one-track minded."  
  
Hyde turned around to see the angel standing right behind him.  
  
"What the he-"  
  
"Hello!!! Angel here, special powers-duh!"  
  
"Oh, so what are you going to do? Make me feel better?"  
  
"Yeah. Sort of. But not against your will."  
  
" My will? I will that this crap never started in the first place!" Hyde stormed out of his room and stopped when he saw the angel sitting on the couch watching Johnny Carson.  
  
"You want to know what would have happened if you and Jackie never-"  
  
"I would have never cheated on her! That's what would have happen." He walked over to the t.v. and switched it off.  
  
"Oh, that and so much more. Come on, let's do a time warp, buddy." Hyde turned away annoyed and headed toward his room until he heard The Price is Right jingle.  
  
"You really are an agent of the CIA?"  
  
"Enough with the smartiness." Hyde slowly turned around.  
  
Hyde turned around to find himself only a year younger sitting on the couch next to Jackie. The angel sitting at the far end also watching the tube. Past Hyde was slouched, and undergroomed. Jackie was perfect, and clean-her perfume wafting through the air. The Price is Right blaring on the t.v.. Just two teenagers bored out of their mind watching summer programs.  
  
He turned to the angel. "How'd you do that?"  
  
"For such a high I.Q., you seem to lack listening skills." He flared his nostrils. "Years of weed I suppose. Oh, the good ol' days."  
  
Hyde rolled his eyes and fixated them on the brunette in front of him. Unmoving and silent.  
  
"Another old lady? She can't even reach the wheel!!!"  
  
"Now hold on." The angel snapped his fingers and everything froze in place. Even the old lady on the screen teetering on her tip-toes to spin the wheel. "We're going to make so that neither you would have the guts to kiss each other."  
  
"Each other?" Hyde scoffed. "She.kissed me!"  
  
The angel snorted. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that." He snapped his fingers again. Everything resumed it's activity. The old woman dropped her cane just as the past Jackie and Hyde looked at one another. Staring at one another for a few seconds before they both turned back to the set.  
  
"And there you go. Nothing happened."  
  
Hyde just felt dead inside as he watched the black curls lay on Jackie's shoulders. She sighed heavily, gave a short glance at the past Hyde and picked herself off the couch and left. Present day Hyde had followed her to the door and stopped when it slammed shut.  
  
He turned and looked at his past self who casually flicked off the t.v. and walked back into his room with a slight sag in the shoulders.  
  
"So," present day Hyde turned to the angel. "What happens now?"  
  
"Well.you didn't see each other again until Donna and Kelso came back."  
  
"You mean I spent a perfectly good summer not getting any?"  
  
"Oh you got some all right." The angel looked up at the stairs as a skinny, attractive blonde made her way down the stairs, past the invisible men and into Hyde's room.  
  
"Who's that?"  
  
"Don't you remember? You called her the day before to ask her to come over. When she saw you and Jackie making out, she got pissed and went home."  
  
Hyde could hear a few words being exchanged, and watched his door click shut.  
  
"Not bad."  
  
"Yeah.not bad.yet."  
  
Hyde glanced at the angel. "What do you mean yet?"  
  
The angel stood up and opened the sidedoor for him to go through. "Let's go forward two months or so, shall we?"  
  
"You got a beard! You look so.old." Kelso commented cheerfully.  
  
"Of course I look old, man. I partied more than you, worked more, drank more, and slept with way more chicks. I'm exhausted, man."  
  
Present day Hyde smirked at his own comment. He and the angel were sitting on the porch chairs watching the whole scene.  
  
Kelso, freshly tanned turned his attention to Jackie. "Hey baby."  
  
Jackie scowled, "Don't baby me you man-whore."  
  
"Look," Kelso put up a hand. "I know what I did was totally wrong. I'll understand that you'll never want to go back to me, but just to let you know-I'll always be there for you."  
  
Jackie gave him a soft look. "Oh Michael! That's so sweet. If only I could say the same about you." Kelso looked puzzled.  
  
"Well, you know. I got a girlfriend now." Kelso stuck his hands into his back pockets looking full of himself. As though he just scored a million points.  
  
"Knowing you, you probably would've picked up another V.D. ridden skank." The group stared at her in shock. "That's okay. I'll get over it, with my new country club friends!"  
  
"Please let it be an actual guy instead of those foreign waiters." Past Hyde crossed his arms.  
  
Fez looked at him in anger. "Do you have something against them?" He asked in a dark manner. Hyde shrugged him off.  
  
"No, he's real, he's rich, and absolutely hot. Everything you'll never be." Jackie shot back.  
  
"Oh, who wants to be so full of themselves that they spontaneously combust?"  
  
"Okay," Donna cut in. "How come nobody asked us if we got back together or not?"  
  
Jackie turned to Donna with a smile on her face. "You got back together!! Oh wow, that's so romantic!!" She threw her arms over Donna. "This could be a new start for you. Now that you've been to California with all the glamour-you might actually not be so lumberjacky this year!"  
  
"What the hell?" Hyde asked the angel. "Shouldn't she be all over Kelso?"  
  
"Well, what you didn't know was that she did go to a country club. Met her new boyfriend there. Puffing in the back next to the garbage cans."  
  
"A burn out?"  
  
"No. The heir to the wallet company."  
  
Hyde looked over at Jackie. "Better than me or Kelso."  
  
The angel stood up and indicated to Hyde to do the same too. They exited the Foreman driveway and mini-reunion and headed down the suburb streets.  
  
"So. Kelso and Jackie never got back together. I slept around. Fez got his girlfriend right?"  
  
"Not really. See Kelso headed by himself to the DMV while you and Fez went cruising for chicks."  
  
Hyde chuckled. "You mean he's going to be a virgin for another year?"  
  
"Make that four."  
  
A look of pity crossed his face. "Poor Fez."  
  
"Yeah, poor Fez."  
  
"So," Hyde shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked side by side down the middle of the road. "Do you have like some sort of name?"  
  
"Oh yeah." The angel hesitated. "Ezekiel."  
  
"What the hell's up with those weird sounding stuff?"  
  
"My mom gave it to me."  
  
"Whatever." Hyde looked up to see that they had ended up at the school. "What happens now?"  
  
"We've fast-forwarded to the Valentine's Day Dance."  
  
Hyde just noticed that it had turned dark, and there were cars starting to pull up to the gym. He saw Eric and Donna walk out of the Visa Cruiser cheerfully with Kelso, Annette, and a forlorn Fez.  
  
A puzzled look crossed over Hyde's face. "Where's Jackie?"  
  
The angel coughed and pointed to the far corner of the parking lot. Jackie was wearing a short pink dress, her hand attached to a tall, lean Oriental boy who was smoking a cigarette and drumming his fingers on her neck. A red trans-am standing behind them. She giggled and waved him off.  
  
"Who's that?"  
  
"Wallet boy."  
  
"Oh." Hyde looked around the parking lot. " I didn't come did I?"  
  
"No you didn't."  
  
"So, what am I doing?"  
  
"Singing."  
  
Hyde's eyes lit up. "I'm in a band?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
The parking lot melted into a large house with ornate trimmings and delicate figurines. Carpet sprouted up, and a twinkling chandalier swung over his head. A familiar tune floated in from behind him. He whipped around and stared in shock as he saw himself rocking a baby on a red velvet chair, singing a lullaby to it. 


	3. You're Not The One I Was Looking For

Ezekiel's laughed coursed throughout the house. Hyde was too numb to even turn around and glare at the angel.  
  
"Holy fuck!"  
  
The angel stopped for a beat. Then began laughing again. His belly bouncing to each gasp and roar.  
  
"Did I-did I . . . . . . . . . is that mine?" Hyde stammered. He licked his lips nervously, and his right ring finger twitched.  
  
The angel finally stopped and wheezed out an "Oh hell no!" and then snickered. "That's not yours. Oh man, this was so great. The look on your face was a telegram from hell. No, no, no!" He waved his hand assuringly, and placed the other on his shoulder and walked him closer to the fatherly scene. " That girl you laid back on 'hook-up-with-Jackie' Day was Regina. She was already two and a half months pregnant. Apparently, you became a softie even without Jackie's whinings and tricks."  
  
Hyde was standing there, gazing at himself singing to a week year old babe of brown hair and green eyes. "She didn't look pregnant."  
  
"Yeah, you really don't show in a peasant top or in the dark."  
  
Past Hyde stood up and started walking around with the baby on his shoulder, trying to burp it. While up, he walked over to the radio and tuned it to a station, leaving in the volume on low. An Eagle's song came on, and gently lulled the baby to sleep and past Hyde himself as they both sank into the rich velvety cushion next to the grand piano.  
  
The angel went over to the radio, and picked up the stack of records next to it while his visitor sat on the piano bench watching himself falling asleep.  
  
"What am I doing here?" He asked.  
  
The angel didn't turn around to reply, "You felt sorry for her. She reminded you of your broken family. Father never being there, mother trying to take care of a baby by herself." He chose a Pink Floyd album, and started looking over the printed lyrics. Hyde recognized it as Dark Side of the Moon, one of his favorite albums. The angel was humming "Us and Them".  
  
"This is nice, raising the babe on rock n'roll." The angel commented. "You've also got Jimi, Joplin, and Doors."  
  
The Hyde on the piano grunted a yes, and then asked, "She's hella rich. Why doesn't she just go get a nanny or something?"  
  
"Nothing can replace a daddy."  
  
"But I'm not its fucking daddy!"  
  
The angel calmly picked up another album, Woodstock recording and looked at the album cover. "No, you're not."  
  
"Hey, don't be all Zen on me! I'm Zen! You're a stupid angel who misses his former life in Hell on Earth!"  
  
Ezekiel bit his tongue, he may have been an angel for a few years now-but he still retained some human qualities that were frowned upon in Heaven.  
  
"If you think that you're better off exploring this universe on your own, then I'll give you this." Ezekiel walked out of the room, and returned with a pocket watch he had found on a table. "To go to the next year, wind the big hand to the next hour. I'm only going to let you go forwards in time though." He handed Hyde the watch.  
  
"Ezekiel man, I'm sorry. Don't leave me here. I don't know what the fuck to do!"  
  
"No shit." The angel replied. "Then again, it's time that you learn to. Listen now, you are like a ghost in this universe. You are a tourist. They cannot see or hear you. When I'm in a better mood, I'll come back." The angel walked into the coat closet and shut the door.  
  
Hyde sat on the piano bench for a while, listening to the crooning of a new singer. Some time ago, the radio switched over to Marvin Gaye singing a soft tune to the sleeping duo on the couch. Hyde pocketed the watch and decided to go back to the school dance.  
  
After figuring out he was on the opposite side of town, he was able to make it to gym in the middle of the dance. Nobody noticed him. He picked his way through the drunken kids, and found Jackie sitting on the Wallet Boy's lap, and the rest of the gang sitting at the table.  
  
"Oh my god!!! They're playing Olivia!!!" Jackie squealed, she grabbed her date's hand the rushed to the dance floor. Her hair bouncing, and the smiling boy following her.  
  
"There goes Fez #2!" Eric commented.  
  
"Fez #2? How original Forman." Hyde thought, and decided to sit in the empty seat next to the original Fez who was busily entertaining himself with olives.  
  
"Kelso, stop that!" Donna grabbed the pixie stick from him, and threw it somewhere behind her. "We all know that sugar sparkles!"  
  
"Geez Donna, don't be so pissed at me because I'm easily amused." Everybody even Annette stared at him wondering if he even knew he just insulted himself.  
  
"Eric, you need to stop calling Fez #2, Fez #2. His name is Jong."  
  
"But he's like Fez. I mean, he comes from another foreign unknown country, he wants Jackie, and he's obsessed with candy!"  
  
"Yeah, but he doesn't have an accent, and he's cool."  
  
"HEY!" Fez perked up. "I am too cool! I am chocolaty mass of goodness quivering just to please a good whore."  
  
"Yeah Fez," Annette said. "You're a pimp of color."  
  
"Aren't all pimps of color?"  
  
"No Michael, I'm talking about their skin-not their clothes."  
  
Hyde was lost; this group was stupider than the real ones. So instead, he went to the sea of couples, looking for Jackie and Wallet boy.  
  
"Did you like the flowers?"  
  
"Yes, they were so beautiful. I've never seen flowers like that. Where do they come from?"  
  
"Oh, they come from my homeland of-"  
  
"OH! Excuse me!" Another couple bumped into them.  
  
Jackie turned back to Jong, "What were you saying again?"  
  
Jong shrugged. "Something not important. I also want you to know how you beautiful you are, it's so painful. I've never seen anyone as beautiful as the way you looked when you stomped out of the back covered in lima beans."  
  
"JONG!" Jackie exclaimed as he laughed out loud.  
  
"I'm serious. It takes a lot of courage to pull off that look." He held her closer and Hyde growled. "You know, I've never dated a woman for more than a week."  
  
"Well, maybe it's just because they weren't as fashionable, or had a great upbeat personality like me!"  
  
Jong simply smiled and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, pulled her closer and started whispering in her ear that Hyde couldn't catch, but made Jackie smile delightfully.  
  
Hyde felt incredibly sad. This was a decent guy. The kind that would not cheat, lie or use her to his advantage. Here he was, thinking about taking away something that was making her happy. Something he used to do.  
  
Broken-hearted, Hyde left the gym and sat on the Vista Cruiser. He didn't want to think about Jackie, how to get home, or where Ezekiel had run off to. He just wanted to think about nothing for a long, long time. Then again, long times do not exist in an alternative world.  
  
The last song played, and the kids were milling around the parking lot, looking for their cars and trying to exit. Some waited until traffic died down, the Basement Gang plus Jong and Jackie came outside laughing and pushing around. Then Jong stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
"What is it?" Jackie asked. He didn't answer, they looked across the parking lot and saw his red Trans-Am, covered in shaving cream and mud, scrawled across it was "CHINK! GOOK!" Hyde sat up as they walked closer and closer to the vandalized vehicle.  
  
"What the hell?" Donna asked.  
  
Jong took out a napkin and started wiping the shaving cream from the windshield. "Just some fucked up people, Jackie-go with Donna. I don't think you should ride with me tonight."  
  
"Hey-hey," Fez clapped a hand on his shoulder. "There are just some screwheads up and around, I've gotten some too. Except, they use the wrong insults all the time."  
  
"Yeah man." Kelso came up too. "I think you should ride with us tonight. You can crash at Forman's place."  
  
"Well just come in the morning, and clean it up." Eric flicked off some of the dried mud.  
  
"No."  
  
"Please Jong. I'm scared for you."  
  
Jong sighed, "What makes you think I'll be safe if I go with you all? They'll target you guys too."  
  
"Hey, at least there'll be seven of us when they come."  
  
"Seven?"  
  
"Yeah, Hyde too. He's also not into the whole racist thing either. He's a friend of a friend. We all got you now, okay buddy?" Kelso said.  
  
"Me too." Said Annette.  
  
Hyde saw all of them surrounding the trashed car-bonding, as he watched from the Vista Cruiser. "Now I feel guilty. Stupid bastards." He looked towards the night sky. "What the hell Ezekiel?"  
  
He took out the pocket watch and wound it one hour. When he looked up again, he saw that he was in his room.  
  
Well, it was his room-except stacked with boxes, and the whole basement gang. "Seattle eh?"  
  
Hyde was taking down his posters, and trying to stuff his socks into the boxes marked "peanuts" and "toys" at the same time. Ghost Hyde stood in the corner holding the watch, taking in the scene.  
  
"Yeah, It's only five states over."  
  
"But Hyde," Donna whined. "That's like, 400 miles away! Do you know how far 400 miles away is? How are we all going to hang out on weekends?"  
  
"Yeah man," Eric added. "I thought you were going to UW with us?"  
  
Than Ghost Hyde realized why he was going to the west coast. Jackie wasn't with him to persuade him to stay and attend college here. He probably didn't even take the S.A.T's!  
  
"With my habits, and my stash." Hyde scoffed. "Like hell they'd take me in."  
  
"Man, that's like half of our basement gang going over there." Kelso said while sucking on a popsicle. "First Jong is going to Seattle to run one of his dad's warehouses, and Jackie going to L.A. to model, now Hyde's running off too."  
  
"I mean, we have cheese man!" Eric pleaded. "Think about the lack of cheese over there!!!!"  
  
"Oh I love cheese." Hyde threw a record into a box marked "kewpie". "Don't get me wrong, cheese is good. Then again, I also like places without cheese too. Like . . . anywhere else but here."  
  
"This is sad. Who will help Fez look for a nice voluptuous whore?" Fez pouted and asked Hyde.  
  
Hyde sighed, "You're cool sexy, suave Fez. You gotta be smooth. Then, you cannot fail." He grabbed the deflated basketball, and tossed it between his hands as he sat on the ground since the rest of the group was begging him to stay had captured his cot.  
  
"Hey, we're all moving. Think of it as growing up . . . yeah, growing up." Hyde shot the basketball into the box marked "pots" and raised his arms in victory.  
  
"Yeah, Eric will have some old boring job, Donna will get tired of him and travel, Michael's going to give Fez tickets as he's cruising for a whore, Jong is going to be rich, and I will be famous! Oh, and Steven will be our national supplier."  
  
"Jackie!" Donna gasped. "What the hell? I'm engaged."  
  
"So you don't want to travel?"  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot about the travel thing. Yeah, I like that."  
  
"Donna!" Eric whined.  
  
"But Eric, it sounds really good."  
  
"Okay, out of here!!!!" Hyde ordered and pointed to the door.  
  
Ghost Hyde was bored too. So he took out the pocket watch again, and wound it five hours and found himself in an apartment in the greater Madison area, it was snowing and a Christmas tree was in the corner. A fireplace was next to it, and the mantel had pictures of the entire gang. He could hear a voice and felt the presence of many people. He walked into the living room and saw Donna in a beautiful white flowing dress with a bouquet of pink flowers in her hands. Eric stood across from her, holding her hand and his eyes very warm and soft. They both were smiling and gazing at each while Pastor Dave with less hair was reciting the wedding speech.  
  
He saw behind Donna, Jackie still gorgeous-holding a small bouquet version of Donna's flowers. She was wearing a red silk Chinese dress, her hair tied up with pins. Behind Eric, he saw himself throwing looks to Jackie who didn't notice him. He had cleaned up noticed Ghost Hyde. His long curls were back, he had grown a goatee and mustache, but looked neat and refined in a tuxedo. Kelso and Fez were behind him too, both dressed in tuxedos. All of them had a pink flower in their suits as they watched the oldest ceremony in the world take place for two young souls.  
  
Red, Kitty, Midge, Bob, Joanne, and Laurie sat in chairs watching it all take place. Ghost Hyde watched as Eric and Donna murmured their vows to one another, and they leaned forward to kiss at the command of the pastor. A flash went over behind Ghost Hyde, and turned to see Jong with a camera.  
  
"You're still here aren't you?" Ghost Hyde commented.  
  
The entire room was filled with happiness as Donna and Eric turned to the entire party beaming.  
  
"Donna! Get the hell out of here and make me babies!!!" Kitty shrilled and bounced, tears in her eyes as Red kept a hand on her, trying his best not to look too excited.  
  
Happy to comply, Eric and Donna ran down to the front of the apartment and into the car as the entire party followed and waved their goodbyes. Their car disappeared down the snow-covered street, while the rest of them filed back inside to start the reception.  
  
The parents talked excitedly in the kitchen as Fez, Kelso, and Jong went to watch t.v. in the den. Hyde and Jackie started putting away the chairs and stacking them neatly on the east wall.  
  
"So Steven, when do you have to get back to Seattle?" Jackie asked.  
  
"Oh, about two weeks. I'm only visiting for the holidays and so." He finished with the chairs and started rolling up the mats. Jackie sat on the windowsill watching him and sipping eggnog.  
  
"Don't you have a shoot or something?" Hyde asked her.  
  
"Nope, Mademoiselle already has a ton of my pictures."  
  
"Hey, do you have that autograph copy so I can give it to Brad. He's a big fan of yours, him and Regina."  
  
"Oh yeah!" Jackie took out a manila folder out of her bag and handed it to him. He took out two photos of Jackie posing in a field of wildflowers.  
  
"When did you do this?" He asked.  
  
"Oh, these are old file photos from the agency."  
  
"Hey, you don't suppose I could have a picture too?" Hyde asked. He glanced nervously at her.  
  
Jackie looked at him in surprise. "Why?"  
  
"You know, so I can brag to my co-workers that I used to date a model and stuff."  
  
"It was only one date, and I wasn't discovered then."  
  
"They wouldn't know that."  
  
Jackie smirked. "I never got around to asking what you and Jong have been up to in Seattle."  
  
"Oh you know, hang out, work, he misses you a lot and goes ranting in some language at times. I feel sorry that he has to worship a midget."  
  
"HEY!" Jackie took 4 tiny strides across the room and pinched his cheeks. "You pig!"  
  
A look of surprise and pain appeared on his face, and with a quick recovery- he was set on getting his revenge.  
  
"Midget, midget, midget!!" Hyde teased. Jackie leaned in for another pinch attack.  
  
"You know, you should audition for one of the MIDGETS in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!" Hyde crowed as he avoided the vicious pinch attacks from the model.  
  
"Take it back you pig!!!"  
  
"Or the Wizard of Oz!!!"  
  
"STEVEN!!!!"  
  
Hyde laughed. "Okay okay, I'm done."  
  
"You giving up that easily?"  
  
"I gave up when Eric forced me to be the best man. I gave up when I had to pick up the flowers at the florist. I even gave up when a slutty choir girl wanted to do me in the back of the church. So I might as well give up on everything."  
  
"Oh . . . . . this isn't fun anymore." Jackie huffed. Then quickly tugged on his earring, earning a shriek of "OW!" from him. Finally, she sat back on the window sill, satisfied with a day's work.  
  
"You uh, date anybody?"  
  
Hyde picked up his beer and sat on a table next to Jackie. "Not really, see a girl in a bar, Wham, bam-we're done."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I was never a guy for girlfriends and such."  
  
"And yet, you are supporting a child that isn't yours."  
  
"Oh, and what is your daily good deed?"  
  
Jackie blew a raspberry his way. "Steven's a softie!"  
  
"Shut your pie hole woman."  
  
Jackie mocked gasp. "JONG! Steven's being mean to me. AGAIN!"  
  
"Stop being mean to Jackie, Hyde!" A muffled voice came from the other room, then a series of cheers for the lucky winning team.  
  
Hyde blew a raspberry at her. They both laughed.  
  
"I missed you Jackie."  
  
"Yeah, I missed all of you guys too."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"What do you want me to say?"  
  
Hyde sighed. "Nothing. Just messing with you." Ghost Hyde just stared in disbelief. He had just been flirting shamelessly, and enjoyed it. Now he was going all awkward and annoying. What the hell did he turn into?  
  
"Actually-I want you to say "I missed you too Steven.." "  
  
Jackie looked confused. "I missed you too Steven." She said hesitantly and shakily. "That all?"  
  
"Um . . . .I . . . . here." He grabbed a dry board and pen and started scribbling on it, when he was finished he flashed it to her.  
  
Jackie mouthed the words silently. Looked even more lost. Then her eyes widened with realization.  
  
"Okay-that's it." Ghost Hyde swiped at the board, but his hand went right through it. "FUCK!" he screamed. But nobody heard it.  
  
"You live with my boyfriend in Seattle, Steven. You-"  
  
"Don't think I don't know what's going on between you two. You're both drifting away from each other." Hyde whispered.  
  
Jackie's eyes widened. "Is there somebody else?"  
  
Hyde shook his head. "What about you?"  
  
"I'm too busy, besides-I'm not a cheater. No! Wait!! I shouldn't even have to answer that! What kind of girl do you think I am?"  
  
"Tell that to cheese boy."  
  
"God!" Jackie pushed him away, her expression screamed annoyed. "You still remember that."  
  
"Jackie." Hyde took a step towards her. Then he leaned forward, his lips bridging the gap between them, but she pulled away quickly.  
  
"I'm sorry Steven, but this isn't good for us."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because we're not in love." Jackie protested knowingly.  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"What's wrong with you?! We barely communicated over five years and you're sprouting love for me!! Your best friend's girl? I am not something to chase, then throw away."  
  
"I-"  
  
"What!? That I'm so cheap and slutty like the girls you fuck?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Why do you want to destroy us, Hyde? What have we done to you? Is this some elaborate burn for you to sit back and laugh at?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"WHY!?" Jackie hissed viciously.  
  
"You think this is easy for me!?"  
  
Ghost Hyde watched the scene from the doorway. "What the hell happened to you man?" He asked himself.  
  
"How dare you! How dare you, how dare you! What the hell do you think is going to come of this huh? That'll break up with Jong and come for you? That'll leave six years of him in the trash to go to some hock head?" Jackie whispered violently. "Yes, I'll confess I wanted you. I waited for you. I flaunted, and did everything I could to get you interested. I looked at you that day in the basement, and you didn't do anything. You didn't want me. Why act now?"  
  
Hyde just stared down at his black boots. Saying nothing, indicating something.  
  
"Just leave me alone."  
  
"Jackie."  
  
"You changed a lot Hyde. Now you're getting passionate and emotional, and I don't like it."  
  
Ghost Hyde watched her walk past her into the next room as his other self stared at the window in shock. "Neither do I." He murmured. He was going to follow Jackie, and then decided against it. He was too angry with his alternate self, acting like some desperate shithead. He took three steps and slammed his fist into the curly mop.  
  
Surprisingly, he connected and watched himself slump to the ground.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" 


	4. Career of Evil

Ghost Hyde watched himself rolling and groaning in pain. He grimaced as he felt his throbbing knuckles. The door to the kitchen swung open and he saw Red poke his head out.  
  
"What the hell happened to you? Are you alright son?" He barked with a hint of worry.  
  
"Yeah." Hyde started picking himself up. "Just tripped I guess."  
  
Kitty poked her head under Red's. "What happened honey?"  
  
"Oh nothing. The kid tripped on his boots." Red explained. Then he handed her a schnapp. "Here, have fun. Steven's fine."  
  
"It's okay Mrs. F." Hyde rubbed his head, and grimaced.  
  
"Oh okay then." Kitty retreated back to the kitchen to begin her alcohol time with Red quickly behind her. Then they heard the opening and slamming of the front door.  
  
"She left." Ghost Hyde looked at his alternate self. He took a step, and swiped his pal through his head, and ended up going through it.  
  
"Huh." Ghost Hyde turned on his heels and set to follow Jackie and Jong.  
  
"STOP!" Ezekial put a hand in front of him, causing Hyde to instantly halt in his steps and almost trip backwards.  
  
Hyde reeled back, and stared in shock at the sudden appearance of the supernatural being. The one with disheveled hair, raging eyes, and a smudge on his left pant leg.  
  
"What the hell!?"  
  
" 'What the hell?'?" He imitated in a sarcastic, snarky, squeaky voice. "No mister, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" He roared.  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
Ghost Hyde turned around to see himself staring in shock at both of them.  
  
"Oh my god." The angel whispered.  
  
"Oh my god." Ghost Hyde echoed.  
  
"You-" Hyde pointed to the younger version of himself. "You're from the freakin' government aren't you?"  
  
"No. I.yes. I was sent here to replace you and make babies with Jackie." Ghost Hyde said to him.  
  
"Okay, that's it." Ezekiel grabbed him and dragged him over out through the window and onto the fire escape. "Oh god, why did it have to be the highest one!?"  
  
"You're afraid of heights!?" Hyde asked.  
  
"Oh! You just can it you naughty messer-upper!" Ezekiel started running down the stairs, always keeping a hand firmly attached to the railing.  
  
"You're a fucking angel! Make us disappear!!!" Ghost Hyde roared.  
  
"You fucking bastards! Come back here!" The other Hyde yelled from the window. His head disappeared and was replaced by a tuxedo leg and black boots.  
  
"Oh shit. Come on, hurry!" Ezekiel urged to Ghost Hyde.  
  
"I can't. You've only gone down one and a half stairs!" He yelled. "We're still on the half part!!! Move it cupid-butt!"  
  
"CUPID!!??" Ezekiel turned around and flashed him a nasty glare. "DID YOU JUST CALL ME CUPID!?"  
  
"I'm going to get you, you goddamn sickos!" The other Hyde was already down the first stairs.  
  
"Forget that, and just go, go-GO!" Ghost Hyde pushed the angel forward as they restarted their descent. . . . . more like their race to the bottom of the stairs.  
  
Ezekiel no longer afraid, but feeling a generous animosity toward his charge followed his instructions.  
  
"STEVEN! Get your ass back up here young man!" Red's voice rang out above them.  
  
"Sorry Red, I'M CHASING GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS!"  
  
"WHAT! You get your-"  
  
"SWEETIE! HONEY! IT'S FREEZING COLD!!! YOU'RE HAVING HALLUCINATIONS!" Kitty interrupted. "DELUSIONS! YOU NEED HOT CIDER!"  
  
After ten more stories of frantic screaming, chasing, and the fire escape being rattled to death-Ezekiel and Ghost Hyde made it to the ground.  
  
"Damn-who the hell has a wedding on the top floor of an apartment?!" Ezekiel panted. "Oh god, he's still following us." Ghost Hyde grabbed the angel of the sleeve and started to drag him through the busy street. The second Hyde didn't even blink twice running into the traffic.  
  
"STOP!" "GO!" "STOP!" "GO!" "STOP!" "GO-NO STOP!"  
  
Hyde and Ezekiel were playing "Red Light, Green Light" on one of the busiest streets in New York City. Stopping, dashing. Retreating back to the safer lane, than seeing the other Hyde coming up quickly, and running back to the other side.  
  
"I was fucking right all those damn years!" The older Hyde swung at the younger one and only ended up with air.  
  
"God, you swing like a chick!" Ezekiel shrieked at him.  
  
"HEY!" Both Hydes' yelled at him.  
  
"What!? I was talking to him!"  
  
Ghost Hyde took another look at his older self, seeing the mixed rage and confusion. "You really don't want to do that."  
  
Both Hydes' stared at each other. While Ezekiel fretted and was nervously tiptoeing on the lane lines as the cars came close to 3 inches near his crotch.  
  
"You guys?" He squeaked. "I think the police are coming.  
  
"Oh my god, it's Jackie!!" Ghost Hyde pointed over the other Hyde's shoulder, while he wasn't looking, he grabbed Ezekiel grabbed the cab's door and shoved him in.  
  
"Where is-HEY!" He noticed the door shut, and speed away.  
  
"Oh god, that was close." Hyde breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought I was going to have to punch him out or something."  
  
"Yeah, quick thinking-running into the damn streets like that."  
  
"AND CHOOSING MY DAMN CAB!"  
  
Hyde and Ezekiel paused, and then looked over towards the left window to see a pissed off Jackie crossing her arms and giving them the look of death. "What is your problem? And why are you wearing that stupid shirt again? For god's sakes, it's 1985! Not the seventies! You look like a burn out." Jackie ranted heatedly. "You have some damn nerve, just barging in here thinking you are like one of those damn fairytale heroes who thinks he can win-"  
  
Suddenly, her lips stopped moving. Her fingers stopped moving, Even the other cars were frozen.  
  
"My god, why can't she just shutup and throw us out of the car already? Sheesh." Ezekiel rubbed his ears and blew on his frozen fingers.  
  
"Hey, wait! You froze her, yet you couldn't have frozen my other pissed off self?!" Hyde backhanded him. "And I can hit you now!? And him!?" Hyde pointed behind him. "How come I could hit him? Why the hell did you make me run down ten flights of a fire escape in freaking winter in NEW YORK CITY!"  
  
"You shutup or I'll end this damn trip and you'll never know what happened next! Damn, you take after her." Ezekiel tucked his hands under his armpits. "My god, it's so cold in here? Can't the damn driver turn on the heater? CHEAPSKATE!"  
  
Hyde unlocked the cab door, and let himself out, and slamming the door as hard as he could.  
  
"No, wait! I was just kidding about that whole thing about ending it! I can't end it until you regret your words. Wait!!!" Ezekiel yelled from the cab window.  
  
Hyde never realized how incredibly cold it was; he wasn't running or squaring himself off now. "I thought you were going doing this because it was clogging up your angel visions or make me feel better something. You know what? Whatever!" He yelled back. He started walking back towards his other self in mid run. It was kind of eerie seeing a street of frozen cars, the people in mid-action. Like a wax museum. A large scale wax museum.  
  
Ezekiel appeared suddenly in front of him. "Hold on man, I'm sorry for leaving you back there. The only reason I let you go through this was because I thought you could handle yourself."  
  
"You have a piece of lettuce and dressing on your collar."  
  
"Oh yeah. Whoops. Sorry." He started wiping it off.  
  
Hyde just stared at him disbelief. "What is wrong with you? You're an angel!!!! You don't take fucking lunch breaks, or run down ten flig-no wait, you're not even supposed to be afraid of heights-YOU FLY!!!"  
  
"Well, that's a big miscon-"  
  
"And also, what's with this thing about your powers? It just turns itself on and off when we're out of danger!!! You could have frozen the cars and we would have gotten away!"  
  
"Hyde, you're freezing-let's get back into the cab and I'll explain everything." Hyde stared at him angrily. "Please?"  
  
Hyde nodded towards a deli shop across the street. "I'm hungry like hell. I need sustenance. I've been time trekking for 8 hours."  
  
When Hyde had finally grabbed one of everything in the store and had managed to fit it everywhere in the tiny cab. Jackie's finger made a very good stand to hang the candy canes from, and the cab's shoulder's were sturdy enough to balance the bowl of chili he had found in the back.  
  
"What do you want to know?"  
  
"Fiscrh uh gawna schee-"  
  
"Swallow."  
  
"First, I want some proof that you are an actual angel." Hyde paused to sip some soda. "If you can't freeze an angry man on the first flight of stairs, but can freeze traffic like this-it just doesn't make sense!"  
  
"Okay, first-powers are like concentration. I can't concentrate when I'm 50 ft in the freaking air."  
  
"What is with this fear of heights? Don't you guys look down at us all the time from hundreds of miles in the air or something?"  
  
"We don't really live in the sky nessicarily."  
  
"Where do you guys live?"  
  
"I can't tell you that, but we don't really fly or have wings."  
  
Hyde grabbed a bag of chips and ripped it open, regardless of the stray chips flying all over the place. "Okay, okay. Angels aren't really holy beings. More like freaky ass mutants created by the government to handle domestic cases of goodness." He slurped on his big glug soda. "Lame."  
  
Ezekiel watched in distaste as Hyde stuffed himself greedily, he wondered if the oil stains would come out of his pants. "Oh please, you talk about the state of being lame and look at you. Shoving corporate fried foods into your stomach."  
  
Hyde shrugged. "It's free."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"So, what's this deal with me hitting them?"  
  
"Who's them?"  
  
"You, and him-" Hyde thumbed to the distant figure among the passive vehicles. "Oh, and how come they can all see me now? I'm supposed to be a tourist, right?"  
  
"I really don't know." The angel ran a hand through his windblown hair. "Maybe. . . . .it has something to do with that watch."  
  
Hyde wiped his oily hands on the leather seat before digging it into his pocket and producing the gold pocket watch that swung from a chain. It now read seven o'clock.  
  
"So, seven years." He turned it over and over in his palm.  
  
"First, how come I came into actual existence, here?"  
  
"Possibly the magic I infused in the watch latched onto you, as you went through the time it began to well . . . . stitch you into this alternate reality." He looked at the face, and pursed his lips. "Might be due to the fact that you've been gone from your real time for a long time now."  
  
"So basically, I'm being written into this tour."  
  
"Yes. Tours aren't supposed to last this long. Since you've been doing the trekking yourself instead of me giving you the cold hard facts on the snippets of time, it's been taking a strain here. It's not meant for long periods of visitation."  
  
"They why the hell did you leave?"  
  
"Oh, you know. I had some other errands to finish. I didn't think it would take so long. Then, it took me a while to find you."  
  
Hyde relaxed and gazed through Ezekiel to the older Jackie. "She's still beautiful."  
  
"Yeah. Well, it's time for us to resume our tour. You won't hurt my feelings anymore, right?"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"Pinky swear?" He held out his pinky.  
  
"Are you serious man?"  
  
"Do you want to be stuck here?"  
  
"Pinkyswearpinkyswear!!!!" Hyde quickly the outstretched pinky with his own and shook it quickly.  
  
"Okay." Ezekiel took out a small paper out of his pocket, read it over-and stuffed it into the other pocket. Picked at the smudge which he acquired from his other errand, and then sighed. "You went to college." He said brightly.  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Yeah, you moved out west to Washington, and went to the University there and became a electrical technician. Where do all electrical technicians go?"  
  
"Uh. . . ."  
  
"L.A."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"You hooked up with a touring company, and now you do the electrical work for the bands. On your off months, you stay with Jong, who became a really good friend of yours. Sometimes Jackie would come, and all three of you would go out and party, stuff like that. You still support Regina, and her son Brad out back in Wisconsin. As a favor, she let you guys use one of her apartments in here, in New York City for the wedding of Donna and Eric."  
  
"What are they up to?"  
  
"Well, let's see. Donna I believe is working for an advertising company. Eric owns a toy store."  
  
"Don't tell me he's selling G.I. Joe's."  
  
"Fine, I won't say anything."  
  
Hyde snorted.  
  
"Anyways, Kelso is a cop. Fez owns a dance studio. And Jackie is a famous model."  
  
"Hey, we all did pretty good."  
  
"Yeah, your lives are just starting out right now. Soon. . . .. well, come on. It's time to go into the future."  
  
Ezekiel wound the clock eight more hours. 


End file.
